How the pilot for "Dracula" was SUPPOSED to go
Okay...so the pilot opens with Van Helsing doing some archaeology and excavating Dracula's tomb. Fine. Helsing's chatty partner notices Dracula was apparently buried with a shit ton of gold. Good...they're going to need funds, so why not? Helsing then slits his chatty partner's throat to wake Dracula.
And this where things started to go horribly wrong. Dracula not only wakes right away, but centuries (I'm guessing) of dessication are magically healed in seconds, and he's made whole.
WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
This is a 10-episode season, so the first two episodes should've shown Dracula healing slowly over time, while establishing his back story (after all, this is a reboot, right? Tell us what you're rebooting). Now's a great time to give us flashbacks of his lady love, and tell us how he came to be locked so gracelessly in an iron box. Let's listen to his Romanian accent and perhaps get a glimpse of life in his native Wallachia. Let's hear his thoughts about how much the world has changed.
Then let's take him to London.
And when we take him to London, let's not give him a black manservant. I mean, no offense to Nonso Anozie (who plays the somewhat mysterious R. M. Renfield); by all means, let's have some POC on this show. This takes place in London; was Idris Elba to busy to play a scholar or vampire overlord to school us on Being a Vamp 101 or something?
Dracula is from Romania; we couldn't have some more Eastern Europeans on this ride? Some Roma?
Secondly, this lame-ass plot about vengeance against the Order the Dragon need to be scrapped. Whoever came up with it should be shot. Vlad Tepes II - father of the Vlad the Impaler a.k.a. "Dracula"- was a member of the Order of the Dragon. So let's roll with it; talk about its creation, give us a morbid history lesson, and show us ancient Romanian culture in its full glory.
The quip about Jack the Ripper having been a vampire - and having an older female Vampire Slayer - is all good stuff, but it's not good enough to make us care. Come on, NBC. You got Jonathan Rhys Meyers to agree to play a vampire - Dracula, no less. That practically writes its damn self and this was the best you could do? No wonder the pilot's a free download on iTunes!
*sighs and rubs temples* I need to write my own vamp series. No one's done it right since Blade and Joss Whedon.